Striking Balances

What's the best way to strike a balance in your life or relationships?

How do you know when things have got to change?

When is enough enough?

When do you let things just slip by and say nothing?

How do you know when something is the final straw and will cause irreparable damage to a relationship?

A famous clinical psychologist, quite popular at the moment, said that small things build up into monstrous uncontrollable things and this should be avoided (or something to that effect). This is so true? How do you turn something around? Once you have gotten into a pattern of telling someone this is OK and I am fine with this, what happens when you are not? What happens when you have told the person you are not OK with this, that you want things to change or you were expecting something else, but it doesn't happen?

Are you punishing yourself?

Will you end up lonely?

Will you wish for the second-best that you had?

Should you say nothing and carry on as usual?

It's so difficult to change the balance after so long in a set routine.

Talking about it as mature adults should help. But how do you stop from going right back to the "routine" you are trying so hard to avoid?

It is uncomfortable and so painful.

Is it worth it?

Does it damage any or all of the good bits that might be left/experienced from time to time?

Will you be left with something worse than you had if you say too much?

Is this preferable to you?

Have you thought about the part you play in the relationship and what is going wrong?

Which leads me back now to mind-reading.

If you are unhappy about something, you must say so and be clear about it.

Take some time to think about the points you want to make, but taking too long might cause more damage.

Have you come across as standoffish or absent?

Does the person you're striking a balance with even care?

It could be that the person you are thinking things have broken with, doesn't even know your turmoil or that anything is bothering you.

Say what you want in life and go after that.

Face the hard and difficult truth that you might not be as important to that person as you thought you were.

If they really care, they will let you know.

If you tolerate what they give you, they will think everything is fine.

Ask yourself, what do you want and go for that; remembering that you will never truly have control over someone else regardless of the history or connections you have.

Take care,

Mental Wellness & Health